How to know if I need therapy?

Thinking about therapy, but not sure if you “really need it”, or whether you could benefit?

Therapy can help with a wide range of emotional experiences - maybe you're feeling anxious, depressed, burnt out, or just not quite yourself.

Whether you've accessed therapy before and are wondering about trying it again, or are considering it for the first time, you may be asking yourself: how do I know if what I'm experiencing can be helped by therapy?

Here’s a guide to help you explore whether therapy might be a helpful step for you.

Some signs you could benefit from therapy

I often meet people who wonder aloud whether what they're experiencing is "bad enough to warrant therapy". So, I'd want everyone who is considering therapy to know:

• You do not need to be 'in crisis'. There are certainly things we can do to try and restabilise and build capacity when you feel overwhelmed, and it is also true that therapy can be really effective as a proactive step, before things escalate or become even more stuck.

• You do not need a mental health diagnosis. There may be good reasons why someone would prefer a diagnostic label; but my stance is anti-pathology, and so you certainly do not need to fit a disorder or diagnosis to have therapy with me.

• There does not need to have been a major or traumatic life event. Of course, these can and do create a lot of ongoing difficulties for us, but not always. Many people can feel confused as to why 'the major thing' has been manageable, whereas the more 'everyday' stuff has been really challenging. There is no right or wrong here, we do not always respond to things in straightforward, predictable ways!

This is by no means an exhaustive list but, if you're noticing any of the following, therapy could be worth considering:

• You feel anxious, stressed or low more often than not

• You’re struggling to engage with hobbies, work, relationships or daily tasks

• You feel stuck in patterns of thought or behaviour which don't seem to be doing you any favours

• You’ve experienced loss, trauma, or change, and you’re finding it hard to adjust

• You feel numb, disconnected, or overwhelmed by emotions

• You avoid situations that are actually important to you because of fear or discomfort

• Your current coping strategies worked once but now come with too many downsides

• Your inner critic is loud, and you struggle with self-esteem or confidence

• You feel “not yourself”, but can’t quite explain why

Questions to ask yourself

Here are some gentle prompts to reflect on:

• Do I feel emotionally stuck or unsettled, even if things “look fine” on the outside?

• Have I been carrying something alone for a long time?

• Am I getting stuck with the same patterns, even if I know they don't help me?

• Do I avoid thinking or talking about certain things, and this is getting in the way of the life I want to lead?

• Do I know where I want to be, but not how to get there?

• Actually, do I even know where I want to be anymore?

If any of these resonate, it may be time to consider talking to a therapist.

What if I’m not sure I can talk about it?

No problem. I think it's important to say that you shouldn't feel pressured to talk about things that you don't want to, or don't feel ready to. Particularly in the context of traumatic or very distressing life events, which often come with difficult emotions like fear and shame, talking about it can feel impossible. There may be times when we jointly decide to work toward describing or naming, but there may also be times when that isn't necessary. For example, if EMDR is indicated for you, it relies less on verbalising.

Many people arrive at their first session not quite knowing where to begin. A good therapist will work at your pace and help you find your words, gradually.

You don’t have to have a fully formed idea of exactly what you want from therapy - just being curious about the possibility is enough.

Taking the first steps

You've already taken a good first step by following your curiosity and reading a bit more about therapy, to help you decide. If you're considering therapy, the following may also be helpful:

1. Notice what’s coming up - when you think about accessing therapy, does that bring up any concerns or questions?

2. Research therapists - I know this in itself can feel overwhelming. Look for someone whose approach feels safe, warm and aligned with your needs. You can read more about different types of therapy here.

3. Send an initial query - most therapists (myself included) are more than happy to answer any questions you might have about the process.

Curious about therapy with me?

If you're wondering whether we could work together, please just get in touch using the contact form at the bottom of the page, or here.